I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
