I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
