his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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