Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
