Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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