Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
