He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
