Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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