I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
