why didn't you poke me back
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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