as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize