I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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