It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
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