So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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