I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
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Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
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Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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