I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize