Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
