a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
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We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
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I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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