Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
