I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
