Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
