im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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