You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
