1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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