So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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