I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
