apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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