Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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