Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
