After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
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Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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