i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
