I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
