Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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