I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
