allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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