so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You made out with two different species that night
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
