Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
