I'm gonna have a badass scar
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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