I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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