Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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