whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
