no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
