you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My balls are so social today.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
