the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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