Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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