I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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