ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
