If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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