ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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