I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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