i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
