Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
