can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
