Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
