Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
