I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
